Must I imagine you there?
by Jayno
Summary: Kurt wants to stay and not go to New York until Blaine does, Blaine has other ideas. SPOILERISH 3 x 17 'Dance with somebody'


Why hello everyone. I have recently just heard Glee's version of 'I have nothing' and let's just say that I bawled, like was sobbing on my bed at 1am. It's gorgeous. This song won't leave me alone; it's haunting me (in a Casper the friendly ghost kind of way.) So I thought I would write a quick one shot based on the song. NO SPOILERS just inspiration. I don't own glee.

Kurt dropped his bag on the floor at the bottom of his bed and crawled up the bed to meet Blaine who was thumbing through an old issue of Vogue. "Ugh" Kurt groaned as he fell face first into his pillow.

Blaine slowly closed the magazine and sat to face Kurt. "Hi, you okay?"

Kurt began mumbling into his pillow.

Chuckling Blaine shook his head "I can't understand you Kurt."

Groaning Kurt slowly sat up and face Blaine "I don't want to go."

Blaine frowned "go where, to coffee? Because you love coffee almost as much as you love me."

"NO!" Kurt answered a little louder than he intended to "to New York, I don't want to go to New York."

Kurt looked up at Blaine "it's smelly and overcrowded and everyone is so rude and"

"It's where you've always dreamed of going…" Blaine interjected.

"Well" Kurt looked down at his hands "maybe my dream has changed."

Blaine bowed his head to try and catch Kurt's eyes "since last week?"

"You don't understand" Kurt grumbled.

"Then" Blaine curled his index finger and placed it under Kurt's chin lifting his head so their eyes met "help me to understand."

Kurt huffed in frustration "It's just that I have to leave everything behind, my Dad, Carole, you. I am going to a new city alone, well with Rachel but ya know? Alone, and…"

"You're scared?" Blaine suggested. "Is that why you've been so distant the last few weeks?"

"Yes. I needed to figure out what I was going to do."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands "Kurt? What do you mean? You are going to go to New York, kick some butt and I will join you in a year. That's the plan. That's our plan."

"Maybe plans change." Blaine said nothing but hope desperately that Kurt wasn't about to say what he thinks he is.

"Soooo" Kurt squeezed Blaine's hands "I am going to take a year off and stay here, earn some money, do so community theatre and stay with you."

"What the hell? No." Blaine shook his head.

Kurt's face fell "don't you want me to stay?"

Blaine sighed "of course I want you to stay, but I'll never ask you to."

"Why not?" Kurt squirmed around on the bed "I would stay if you asked me."

"I know." Blaine placed his hand on Kurt's cheek "that's why I would never ask you."

"Well I am staying anyway."

Blaine's hand fell from Kurt's face "Kurt you can't."

"I can honey. I'm staying for you."

"N-no! I won't let you" Blaine stood up "you can't give up your dream for me."

"I'm not giving it up Blaine, I am just postponing it. Besides you are part of my dream."

"Kurt" Blaine's voice was barely above a whisper "you're part of my dream too but you can't stay here. You have to go to New York and live with Rachel and 1000 cockroaches that won't pay rent."

"Blaine, I'm staying." Kurt crossed his arms over his chest.

"Because of me?" Blaine bit his bottom lip. Blaine turned away from his boyfriend "Kurt, i-if you stay" _be the bigger man Blaine _"then I can't be with you."

"Wh-what? Why? You said you loved me. Don't you love me anymore?"

Turning back to face Kurt Blaine smiled sadly "I do love you. Don't you see? That's why I'm doing this. I can't be the reason that you stay here Kurt!" Blaine clenched his fists together.

Kurt pulled his knees to his chest "A-are you b-breaking up with me?"

Taking a deep breath Blaine shook his head "no. But if you stay because of me…" he stopped talking unable to finish the sentence.

"I guess I have a lot to think about." Kurt smiled through his tears.

Blaine nodded and sat next to Kurt "you do." Blaine kiss Kurt's forehead and lingered there "I love you Kurt, more than anything. B-but you can't give up your dream for me. I can't risk the fact that you may end up resenting me." Slowly Blaine stood and headed to the door.

"Blaine?"

The small voice pulled at Blaine's heart strings.

"Are we still together?"

"Yeah Babe, we're still together. Us staying together is up to you though. I'll call you tonight.' Blaine left before Kurt had a chance to answer.

When Kurt heard Blaine's car driving down the road he threw himself onto his pillow and wept. It was quite possible that he was about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Kurt didn't really sleep that night. When Blaine had called he only spoke to him for a few minutes before he told Blaine that it was too hard to talk to him and try to make a decision so soon after the 'not quite a break up' break up. He promised that they would talk tomorrow. Tomorrow came and Kurt really didn't want to go to school. He wanted to turn back the clock and get himself held back a year so that he and Blaine would be seniors together.

Squaring his shoulders Kurt marched into the halls of McKinley High. He noticed straight away that Blaine was being weird. _Of course he's being weird Kurt; you went and messed everything up. _Blaine was in dapper Warbler Blaine mode. Not sexy, supportive boyfriend mode – none of New Directions would really have noticed but Kurt did. He noticed how Blaine sat a little further away from him than usual at lunch, how Blaine didn't hold his hand in Glee, but mostly it was the look in his eyes. Pain, heartache and it was all because of Kurt.

They didn't talk about it and by the end of the day Kurt was a wreck, a well-dressed wreck but a wreck nevertheless. Blaine had walked Kurt to his car at the end of the day, without saying a word he captured Kurt's lips with his own and then he walked away. It felt like goodbye to Kurt.

As soon as the front wheels of his Navigator hit his driveway he was in tears. Pulling out his phone he fired off a text to Blaine

**Maybe you want us to break up – Kxx**

**I don't, but maybe you do – Blaine**

**Maybe I do – K. Hummel**

"Oh god what have I done?" Kurt covered his face with his hands, his body began to shake and he broke down.

Ten minutes or ten weeks later (Kurt wasn't sure) Carole's car pulled up. Seeing her son in distress she yanked open the door to his car and knelt beside him "Kurt, honey. What happened?"

"B-Blaine." Kurt stuttered.

"What about Blaine sweetie?"

"I think he's going to break up with me." Kurt babbled as he began to sob again.

Carole undid Kurt's seatbelt and led him into the house. Placing him on the sofa she sat next to him. Kurt recounted the conversation he had with Blaine the day before, explained to her how Blaine had been distant all day, how he felt that he was losing Blaine. Carole sat and listened patiently to Kurt, holding him when it all became too much and rubbing his back when he did manage to choke sentences out.

"What should I do Carole?" Kurt looked up at her, his beautiful eyes red from the tears.

"Oh honey" she rubbed his back once again "I can't tell you that. You have to decide, is it going to be harder to live without him for a year, or live without him forever."

Kurt looked at Carole as if to say 'what do you think.'

"It's not that easy Carole." Kurt sniffed.

"Kurt, honey I love you, but you can be so stubborn."

Kurt smiled.

"You get that from your father."

He giggled a little.

"It can be as hard or as easy as you want it to be. I know that living a year without Blaine and moving away from your Dad"

"and you" he added.

"and me" she smiled "is a scary thought but you can do this honey."

Kurt simply nodded his mind miles away. "Guess I have a decision to make."

Blaine threw is satchel across his room. Today with Kurt had been so hard. Angrily he brushed away the tears in his eyes. He didn't want to break up with Kurt, it was the last thing that he wanted but he refused to play any part in holding him back. _Good one Blaine, being all noble and shit. Now you're going to lose the most important person in your life. _Pulling his I pod out of his satchel he put on the head phones, put Teenage dream on repeat, crawled onto his bed and cried.

Blaine shuffled nervously in his seat at the next afternoon's Glee club meeting. He hadn't seen Kurt all day and the seat next to him was empty. Just as Tina turned to Blaine to ask where Kurt had been all day Mr Shue walked it.

"Alright guys. I've organise a special performance for today."

Kurt entered the room slowly and stood in front of the class. Without saying a word he nodded to the band to start playing.

Kurt closed his eyes hoping that the song would convey what he wanted it to.

**Share my life, take me for what I am  
Coz I'll never change all my colours for you  
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much  
Just all that you are and everything that you do**

Blaine took a shaky breath.****

I don't really need to look very much further  
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow

_Please understand what I am saying Blaine_

**I won't hold it back again, this passion inside  
Can't run from myself  
There's nowhere to hide**

Well, don't make me close one more door  
I don't wanna hurt anymore  
Stay in my arms if you dare  
Or must I imagine you there  
Don't walk away from me...

Tears fell down Blaine's face at that line; he didn't want to walk away.

**I have nothing, nothing, nothing  
If I don't have you, you, you, you, you, you...**

It's official Blaine's heart just shattered into a million tiny little pieces.****

You see through, right to the heart of me  
You break down my walls with the strength of your love mmmmm...  
I never knew love like I've known it with you 

Both boys smiled. Neither of them had known love like theirs before.

**Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to**

Blaine chanced a look at the New Directions to find that all the girls crying and the boys looking confused.

**I don't really need to look very much further  
I don't want to have to go where you don't follow  
I won't hold it back again, this passion inside  
I Can't run from myself  
There's nowhere to hide  
Your love I'll remember, forever**

Don't make me close one more door

Kurt took a deep breath as tears began to fall, he could feel his throat beginning to close up, but he refused to stop.

**I don't wanna hurt anymore  
Stay in my arms if you dare  
Or must I imagine you there  
Don't walk away from me...  
I have nothing, nothing, nothing...**

Well, don't make me close one more door

Hoots and hollers came from the New Directions.

**I don't wanna hurt anymore  
Stay in my arms if you dare  
Or must I imagine you there  
Don't walk away from me no...  
Don't walk away from me  
Don't you dare walk away from me  
I have nothing, nothing, nothing  
If I don't have you, you  
ooohhh,ooooh  
if i don't have you,oohh...**

Kurt wiped the tears out of his eyes as all of New Directions stood and applauded him. Blaine stood and rushed forward and threw himself at Kurt.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Kurt chanted.

Blaine wrapped his arms tighter around Kurt's waist.

"I love you Kurt, I love you." Blaine whispered into Kurt's skin on his neck.

The two boys stayed holding each other until they heard the doors of the choir room close.

Pulling back Kurt took his shaking hand and wiped away the tears that were falling thick and fast down his boyfriend's face. "It's okay baby, I'm right here." Kurt gently kissed Blaine on the lips "I'm not going anywhere" Kurt added as the parted "well I am, I'm going to New York, but right now I'm not going anywhere."

"Y-you're gonna go?" Blaine stuttered as he tried to blink the tears away.

Kurt nodded "I can't lose you. Like the song says I have nothing, if I don't have you."

Blaine snorted at the cheesiness of what Kurt had just said. Grabbing Blaine's hand Kurt dragged to one of the plastic seats and pulled Blaine down to sit in his lap. Blaine wiggled to get comfortable as he smuggled into Kurt.

"I'm sorry Blaine."

"I thought I lost you." Blaine murmured into Kurt's chest.

"I was so stupid. I was trying to find the easy way out, the way that would hurt the least."

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes "we can do this Baby. I know we can." Blaine took a deep breath and laid his head back on Kurt's chest.

"I would have done the same thing ya know? You're right Blaine. I can't stay here just for you."

'Can I get that in writing?" Blaine smiled.

Kurt chuckled "Come on; let's head back to my place. You can stay the night."

Blaine raised his eyebrow.

"Don't worry, Carole said it's okay as long as we don't tell Finn or Sam, they'll be at Artie's"

"I love you Kurt."

'I love you too Blaine, so much."

Really disappointed with this one but thought I would post it anyway.


End file.
